Healer's Fate
by LittleLinor
Summary: Raine/Sheena oneshot for the International Day of Femslash. "You're not everyone else."


This fic was written for the International Day of Femslash, today 19th of July. I'll probably post it on lj too, but I'm not sure where, so...

Have a Raine/Sheena fic. Because there definitely aren't enough on here.

I won't bother with an overly long author's note today. Just be aware that this was written in one night to fit the deadline and that it's currently 4 am.

Dedicated to Mandy, No, and all those who dedicate their lives to healing others.

Warning: Two women will kiss. If you can't handle that, then click that leftwards arrow please.

Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia or its characters. I'm just giving them a bit of love.

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Healer's fate

"Ouch!"

Raine sighed and pressed the antiseptic-dampened cloth to Sheena's wound again.

"Raine, that _hurts_!"

"It's your own fault for getting a would from such a ridiculous enemy. Keep still for a second, when it's clean I can first-aid it closed."

Sheena clenched her eyes as Raine finished, then relaxed as the warm feeling of the spell dampened the pain until it disappeared totally.

"Seriously, Sheena dear," said Raine, putting her kit back into her bag, "with Genis safe in Sybak, I'd thought I was done with mothering people. You're twenty now."

"You're a _healer_. It's your _job_ to heal people. You wouldn't comment if it was anyone else."

"Maybe. But you're not everyone else."

Sheena pondered for a second. As usual with Raine's comments toward her, there could be several meaning to that sentence, some better than others. Since Raine seemed in a bad mood, she went for one of the negative ones.

"What, so now that I'm your girlfriend I have to suddenly be perfect?"

Raine looked up from her bag, surprise evident in her eyes.

"No."

Sheena waited for a few seconds, until she realised she wouldn't get a better answer without pushing further.

"What did you mean, then?"

"Nothing important. I'm a cold-hearted witch, remember?"

Sheena winced. That had been two years ago, when Sheena had just joined the team, but her words back then seemed to have stabbed deeper than she had expected. She silently damned Raine for always looking so impassive and never letting anyone see her emotions. How was she supposed to know if she wounded her? Even now she had jumped to the wrong conclusion. She realised with a frustration and a bit of sadness that while Raine knew her rather well, she knew close to nothing about her girlfriend.

"If you're fit to stand, maybe we can move on. The House of Salvation is still two hours away and we have to be there this evening if we want to reach Luin by tomorrow."

Sheena stood slowly, checking her balance. Suddenly she felt hands at her waist, one on her side and one on her back. Raine picked up the pieces of Sheena's jacket that had been torn and held precariously, undoing the large bow on her back before using to hold the fabric in place.

"There," she said, knotting the huge ribbon back into place. "Can't have you running around looking indecent, can we?"

The touch had been businesslike but gentle, and Sheena wondered how much was really worrying about her appearance and how much was actually caring for her, in that motherly way of hers. Before she could think too long about it, however, Raine had walked past as if nothing had happened and was striding off, the large pack on her back. Shouldering her own pack before running off to catch up, Sheena noted it was noticeably lighter than before.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

With Raine's usual fast stride and Sheena's step made lighter by the smaller pack, the two reached the House of Salvation half an hour before sunset. After the long silence of the last hour and a half, Sheena was eager to get Raine to talk and explain her previous words, but as usual when they reached an inn, house of salvation or camping site, routine took over and both separated to take care of their respective tasks. Raine, who as Sheena and Genis knew firsthand had no talent for housekeeping, went to talk with the priest and pay for the night, while Sheena took care of their packs and looked for the community kitchen to make them something to eat. Mizuho food was not fast to cook, however, and by the time she was done and went off to look for Raine it was pitch black. She looked in the room first, then asked the priest if he had seen her, and was about to scream in frustration when she caught sight of short white hair across the window.

"Are you planning on getting sick? I'm not planning on being the one to mother you. That's your role you know."

Raine turned to look at her, her face serious, but the slightest hint of a smile lighting her eyes.

"It's still warm. Is that dinner? I would have thought it would take longer."

"Raine, because you take hours to cook doesn't mean everyone does. I took long enough to do this, now get in so we can eat it before it gets cold and my efforts are wasted."

The half-elf was still silent, watching the seemingly endless carpet of grass with a melancholic stare. In the faint light coming from the near-black moon, the blades were as grey as coal, the dampness turning the shadows before them to obsidian. The sky, however, was blue, a dark, gentle blue littered with stars and graced by the faintest breath of clouds. Sheena blinked, staring at the scene. Raine's hair was the only light she could see, silver shining against the greys, blacks and blues. She set the plates on the small wall, the only thing she could see that still kept its color thanks to the faint golden glow from the building's fires. Slowly she walked forwards, pushing the small gate and shivering as the drizzle-damped grass drenched her sandal-covered feet, and covered Raine's shoulder with her right hand.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Many things. The world as it is now, the old dual world we saved and in a way destroyed… the fate of half-elves that I swore to change… my brother, alone in Sybak…"

"He wanted to go. Besides, he's not exactly alone."

Raine chuckled.

"I'm not sure the Chosen is the best company, nor the one he would have wished for, but it's true it's hard to forget his presence."

Sheena beamed. Raine's smiles were sparse, and her laughs even more. She tightened her grip on the half-elf's shoulder, and Raine's hand came to rest on hers in a rare gesture of affection.

"…Raine?"

She didn't answer, but her throat vibrated in a low hum, prompting her to continue.

"What did you mean earlier? I obviously got the wrong idea, so…"

"I've learnt long ago not to care about my charges, Sheena."

The answer had been direct, out before she had even closed her mouth. Raine turned to look at her, releasing her hand and holding her eyes captive with their grim seriousness.

"I learnt to accept the possibility of them dying. When I am a healer, those I care for are already dead in my head. I will do everything I can to save them, but to be able to think efficiently, their deaths must have been accepted before I even start fighting. Worrying is the last thing I can do when working a healing. Crying, grieving… those are for times of peace, when I am alone and no one needs my help. If I let my heart interfere, I will make mistakes. I can't cry, can't beg." She took a deep breath, attempting to calm the emotions that were, for once, rushing out of her. "Even two years ago, when we were travelling together… it was that way. Even my own brother… it hurt to think like that, but it was the best way to keep him safe."

"I… I had no idea-"

"I don't want you to be my charge, Sheena. I don't want to be your healer, because I never want to accept your death, whether because it might happen or because it has already happened."

Sheena stared at her, her brain and heart unable to cooperate to supply her with an answer.

"Being with you… it has made me more fragile, because I don't keep that professional distance anymore. But I've finally been able to let myself feel things. To worry for others when I want to worry for them, instead of keeping it for later. I don't have to force myself to be cold-hearted any more." She chuckled. "I know it sounds strange… even now, I can never compete with the way you or Lloyd react at everything. It's not in my nature. But that doesn't mean I don't care. I don't want to see you hurt, and I don't want to have to deny my feelings to be an efficient healer."

Sheena moved closer, pressing herself gently against Raine's shirt and combing silver hair with her fingers.

"Raine, love, I'm sorry. I'll be more careful, ok?"

Raine's arms circled her, one catching the back of her head, the other resting on the curve of her back.

"I guess it's the best I can ask for."

She tightened her hold.

"Like I said, you're not everyone else."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The food was indeed cold when they went back inside, but Raine had always been a fan of her miso soup, and both their spirits were considerably higher. After the shades of grey of the night, the rush of color made the world sharp and blurry at the same time, and the fire's heat and golden glow warmed them more than they could have thought. They joked with a travelling fortune-teller, drank some tea, and went to bed in their shared room, Sheena's cheeks still warm and her ears buzzing from the general aura of happiness. Still slightly dazed, she entered the room, heard the door close behind her, and found herself caught in an embrace and a long, sensual kiss.

The world came back into focus. She grabbed both sides of Raine's face and kissed back, tracing the pointed end of an ear with her index and middle finger. Raine broke away and smiled, tenderness and desire competing in her eyes.

"It's sad were in a House of Salvation, isn't it?"

Sheena grinned and gave her a short kiss.

"We'll be in Luin tomorrow."

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Thanks for reading and please review. And give some love to the other yuri/femslash fics that might pop up today.


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